Listening to: Professor Layton theme - Warmth and kindness
It was a while since my last journal entry. It has almost been a year since I announced that life is kicking my ass... And it still does.
I haven't uploaded anything since November 16th. It bothers me every day. I have canvases waiting to be finished and watercolours waiting to be painted. But I haven't been able to. I have been in a worse shape than ever in my entire life and it only escalated. It has been so bad that art isn't even a vent anymore. It simply doesn't work.
Back in February I decided that I had to get professional help. My counsellor had just dumped me because she thought I was a lost cause. So I went to get some real help. I had previously been diagnosed with level 3 (out of 4) depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Now I learned that my anxiety was off the charts and my depression had levelled up to 4. So I was prescribed meds (zoloft) and I've been on meds for almost a month now. It has just recently started working so I feel somewhat better now.
But I have tremors due to anxiety. I've had some art-therapy and I noticed that I can't draw anymore. My hands are so shaky I can't get a clean line. I don't know what to do. I can't make a comeback if I can't draw or paint.
I also don't have a scanner anymore so until I get a new one I will be forced to only upload photos of my paintings. But once I get a new scanner I will replace the photos with real images.... If I can produce anything of value.
Please have patience with me.